It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
