So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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