The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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