I got chris browned last night
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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