Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
