I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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