What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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