weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I take back everything I said about communal showers
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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