hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
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I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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