Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
