I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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