Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
