Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
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his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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