We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sext me about skeletons
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
