I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
