you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
