is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
