Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
