"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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