I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
