i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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