why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
