You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
