I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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