I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
