If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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