I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
