I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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