Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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