Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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