it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
