the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
