Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
