finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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