i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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