We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize