Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
