I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
