then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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