the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
