He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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