it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just had sex bonerless
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
