like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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