I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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