I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Only a mothe r could love this liver
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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