I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
