i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
