His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
