The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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