This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Floor bacon is actually really good
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
