the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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