found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
