I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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