covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
