oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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