dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize