your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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