I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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