HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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