i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
