fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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