elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
