Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
