You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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