So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
