First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
