Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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